When we realized technology was a detraction from our relationship we decided to do something about it. Read on to find out more.
Rae’s Take:
Rae’s Take:
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These snippets are reflective of early morning conversations between Tim and I since we decided to ban all things technology from our bedroom.
Now instead of lying side by side, each with our iPads in hand, checking the daily news, Facebook posts from friends, and playing Words with Friends, we enjoy the quiet cadence of good conversation. The quiet cadence that only comes from knowing we are not just waiting for the person to finish their sentence before getting back to the allure of the latest CNN or Drudge report. Before we fall asleep at night or awake to a new day, we talk and listen to one another in a relaxed way, enjoying the natural flow of a mutual exchange where we are both fully present.
So rather than jumping out of bed after a technology fix to walk, I am seduced by the simple pleasure of connection and conversation with my mate.
Though our leisurely morning chats have had a negative impact on my physical fitness, my and our emotional fitness is shaping up quite nicely!
Tim’s Take:
Every morning I would caress her like she was a Greek goddess. I would slide my fingers along her creases and press her buttons to make her do the things I wanted. Even though she was just a hard piece of plastic, some steel and glass I couldn't resist her gravity-like pull on me. My iPad gave me my morning news and informed me of the paths my "friends" were taking and allowed me to see what was going on in the world.
Was I a tech junkie? Needing the fix every day? The signs were there when halfway through the morning I would open my web browser and surf the sites I bookmarked looking for some new tidbit to wrap my mind around. At lunch I buried my nose into the screen and I would swear at supper time it was my last foray into techno-land. But, I could never keep my promise. I would go to bed an hour earlier than I normally would just to dig back into the netherworld of news sites to sink into a world of mundane information.
My love affair with the info-world ended when Rae and I decided to take a break. Leave the iPads and iPhones on the chargers and just talk in the mornings. Look each other in the eyes and communicate. I still pop a photo onto Instagram each day and check my Facebook to see what "friends" are up to. The rules are no technology in bed, at meals or when someone has something to say to the other. Undivided attention.
The result. A much more stimulated life. Mentally and physically. So, my advice to all of you tech addicts out there is to remedy the situation. The end result will bring you much satisfaction.
Thanks so much Rae and Tim!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic! In the midst of our massive home move the last three weeks, Pat and I have had little time to devote to technology. Instead, we have both been challenged physically with the pure work of moving as we moved everything ourselves except large furniture. Although it was certainly a challenge, what we found was that we are both stronger physically than we expected and that we worked together wonderfully...we are a good pair!
I think there is something important to physical work and doing it together that is bonding...ice packs and back/stretching exercises in evening and morning helped as well...but we are moved!
Thanks Rae and Tim for starting the continued conversation about couples building stronger bonds in what seems a time of disconnection.